Curious...

Technorati results for "Love Monkey" are almost exclusively Livejournals.

You judge for yourself the significance of that one.

Ahem.

Um. Uh...

Well, the first Love Monkey Slash Fic has appeared.

Ahem.

Weakly

EW (and how appropriate is it that Entertainment Weekly's initials are "Ew!"?) reports on Love Monkey's ratings:

CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler seemed really psyched about "potential" for "growth."

The Voice Speaketh

The Village Voice call's Love Monkey "inspid!"

Remember, Ossilin? That's the same word I used to describe Love Monkey to you!

Village Voice:

You're Wayne and we will try to keep your Wayneness," Tom promises sincerely, damning Love Monkey to the crapper, another failed attempt to use rock as the backdrop for an insipid sitcom.

Love Monkey Viewing Party Gawked

... by, um, Gawker. [And they speak the truth, as always: "In case you weren’t sure, yes, CBGB’s jumped the shark, landed in the tank, got eaten, vomited up again, eaten again and then shot by Roy Scheider." --Ossilin]

But the real question is: did anyone go to the one at Pianos? Report, please.

[UPDATE: According to this, that viewing party is actually in a couple of weeks -- "New York band Eugene will be performing on CBS's Love Monkey Tuesday, January 31st 9pm. And will be playing the Love Monkey Viewing Party (acoustic set) on January 31st, 8pm. Pianos Upstairs." Go forth and taunt, people! (The television screen, I mean, not the live bands, who always deserve a chance for recognition if they are talented and ... sipid?)]

Julia: The Record Label Love Interest

Her Myspace Profile:

Hahahahahah! She currently has 2 friends: Tom (duh!), and, get this: Tom! BWAH HA HA HA HA!

Location: WILLIAMSBURG, NY (emphasis mine)

Heroes (I shit you not): Buddha, Nancy Spungen.

That's Buddha *and* Nancy Spungen, get it? Whoa, she's "FAR OUT!" She's "CRAZY!"

The Times:

Understandably, his boss fires him on the spot. Tom is in many ways a watered-down, television version of Tom Cruise in "Jerry Maguire" (you deplete me).

New York Magazine:

It squirms and bawls like the bastard love child of Candace Bushnell and Nick Hornby.

You almost got it, but it's "Blows" not "Bites"

The Celebrity Cafe:

The Man in the Yellow Hat would probably disown “Love Monkey,” a dreary dramatic comedy that is more dangerous than that chimp in "Outbreak."

Timesunion.com:

It's as if "Ed" were on his way to an audition for a Dockers commercial but found himself marooned in the East Village and asked to give a lecture on the history of punk rock.

Ugh.

I'll bet you a hundred bucks you can't get beyond the first paragraph of this Boston Globe "Love Monkey" review:

The language of CBS's ''Love Monkey" is Bob Dylan-ese, peppered with the odd Sex Pistols phrase, and spoken in a Talking Heads accent. It also has etymological roots in Aretha Franklin, CBGB, Air Supply, and Eric Clapton's ''Layla," which proudly announces itself in a cellphone ring tone.

Ugh.

That's what we thought, too

From the January 23rd issue of People:

[Cavanagh] does not look like a man born to wear a porkpie hat with confidence or style. He might as well go out with his head under a taxidermized crow.

Tom Cavanagh innocently tries to attend a Knick game...

...and suddenly the internet gets even more weird.

Go here, read the comments.

Cuts like a knife...

The Washington Blade:

[Love Monkey] is just too crowded, confused and unoriginal to bear repeated viewing.

Our ranks are growing

Hollwood Reporter:

The premise of an attractive group of friends living and loving in the Big Apple is not exactly a novel idea, but there's always room for a series that resonates with a distinctive new take, a unique perspective or memorable characters. Unfortunately, this isn't it.

Time:

Tom, a supposedly individualistic tastemaker, is about as edgy as a pair of pleated khakis. (He loves Bob Dylan and hates Hanson! Risky!)

St. Petersburg Times Floridian:

Love Monkey is based on a book of the same name by Kyle Smith about character Tom Farrell "navigating the tumultuous and highly amusing waters of work and dating in New York City," CBS says.

Yeah. Not so much.

Well, The News & Observer talks sense

...and they out the gay character! Not Jason Priestly (the brother in law), and not Larenz Tate (the "buddy with street smarts and a fat bankroll"), but the other guy. He's the gay friend. But anyway, from 01/08.

The only thing more predictable than the plot and dialogue is the overbearing soundtrack, which seems to be a big reason for the show's existence. It's called licensing, folks. Here's betting that a "Love Monkey" CD featuring the Rolling Stones, the Killers and Beck is already boxed and ready to be shipped.

That disc would definitely include pretty boy singer Teddy Geiger as Wayne, whom Tom takes on as a client in his new job at a smaller label. We're expected to buy this pre-blues John Mayer-sound-alike as a new Dylan who reignites Tom's passion for music. These two guys bonded over their mutual admiration for Sid Vicious and CBGB's? Please.

I'm just trying to get this straight in my head...

So...the show is about this guy who leaves the big mega-label, to go to a smaller label, because he's "about the music" and not "about the money." And so, since he's so "about the music" and not "about the money", he proceeds to go and sign this "unknown" kid (just "hoping that the rest of the world will hear the same magic that he does"). And yet, the whole scenario is played out on a network television show, and the story itself has been crafted in part in an effort to mass market this new kid, who is, in real life, a Columbia Records artist, whose new album they are obviously trying to push very hard for its debut next month. Is this what them college braniacs refer to as a "dichotomy?"

Good thing I read sidebar ads...

Otherwise, I probably would've missed this one:

True Vinyl Records

Uh, yeah.

Wayne's World

Don't forget to add "Wayne From Love Monkey" to your Myspace buddies list!

Related: Oh, Tom...fire that wardrobe lady already.

Robbed? Shaff(t)ed?

I wonder how long the show will last? I hope it goes long enough for us to see the Robbers On High Street episode, but I don't know when that's slated to run; I think it's like ep. 4 or 5 at least. But I mean, I guess we should keep in mind that this is a mid-season replacement, and as such, there aren't that many total episodes, anyway. Although I'm sure the show will stay on long enough for the Paul Schaffer episode, though.

woo.

1996

You know, I was thinking about it, and maybe 10 years ago, this concept would have worked as a show, but now...*now*, there' s just no way. I mean, think about it: In today's world, "label guys" are considered villains, aren't they? So, the main character here, "Tom Farrell," is, in fact, a target of scorn from the outset! Why didn't they just make it into a TV Movie, "How Hillary Rosen Got Her Groove Back"....

Destined to become our arch-enemy

LM Online dot com.

Unlove-ED?

I mean no offense to Tom Cavanagh. I saw that Ed show a handful of times, and it wasn't too bad.

But a brother's gotta work, I know.

I beg to differ ...

Just what is Love Monkey? Love Monkey is *so* gay.

Hello World

Well, that new CBS show "Love Monkey" is really gonna suck. Like, bad. I mean, just the name itself, how cringe-inducing is that?