Love Monkey Blows

A Blog About How The CBS VH1 Show "Love Monkey" Blows.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Somebody kill me, please!

O, why, God, why?

And this current episode? Are you fucking kidding me? That chick-- that's what they think a Pitchfork writer lives like??? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Welcome to Bizarro world!!!!


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Thank the sweet baby Jesus ...

(Who protects me even while I sleep!)
Here's the best Valentine, ever: We've been saved.

Thursday, January 26, 2006


Technorati results for "Love Monkey" are almost exclusively Livejournals.

You judge for yourself the significance of that one.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

How do I taunt thee? Let me count the ways -- (Ep 1.02)

  1. This show is boring;
  2. So boring that I may have no longer have any reason to taunt, because taunting requires a worthy target;
  3. I mean, you wouldn't taunt blancmange, would you? Unless the blancmange were threatening to destroy Wimbledon;
  4. Love Monkey, you're my inner pain.

Sunday, January 22, 2006


Um. Uh...

Well, the first Love Monkey Slash Fic has appeared.


Thursday, January 19, 2006


EW (and how appropriate is it that Entertainment Weekly's initials are "Ew!"?) reports on Love Monkey's ratings:

CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler seemed really psyched about "potential" for "growth."

The Voice Speaketh

The Village Voice call's Love Monkey "inspid!"

Remember, Ossilin? That's the same word I used to describe Love Monkey to you!

Village Voice:

You're Wayne and we will try to keep your Wayneness," Tom promises sincerely, damning Love Monkey to the crapper, another failed attempt to use rock as the backdrop for an insipid sitcom.

Love Monkey Viewing Party Gawked

... by, um, Gawker. [And they speak the truth, as always: "In case you weren’t sure, yes, CBGB’s jumped the shark, landed in the tank, got eaten, vomited up again, eaten again and then shot by Roy Scheider." --Ossilin]

But the real question is: did anyone go to the one at Pianos? Report, please.

[UPDATE: According to this, that viewing party is actually in a couple of weeks -- "New York band Eugene will be performing on CBS's Love Monkey Tuesday, January 31st 9pm. And will be playing the Love Monkey Viewing Party (acoustic set) on January 31st, 8pm. Pianos Upstairs." Go forth and taunt, people! (The television screen, I mean, not the live bands, who always deserve a chance for recognition if they are talented and ... sipid?)]

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Julia: The Record Label Love Interest

Her Myspace Profile:

Hahahahahah! She currently has 2 friends: Tom (duh!), and, get this: Tom! BWAH HA HA HA HA!

Location: WILLIAMSBURG, NY (emphasis mine)

Heroes (I shit you not): Buddha, Nancy Spungen.

That's Buddha *and* Nancy Spungen, get it? Whoa, she's "FAR OUT!" She's "CRAZY!"